Oh MySpace.

[40cakes]

You have a new MySpace message from Jack!

"hi i am a swm 26 from south jersey if u wanna chat email me or im me on aim at sentra2269
ur cute"

My goodness, Jack. Your command of the English language has won me over and swept me off my feet. You must be a Schalick grad.

And then, "Wait a second, that picture looks familiar. IS he a Schalick grad?"

And then, "Holy shit. It's Jack-o." Aka this guy who tried to hook up with me when I was a Freshman at the Elmer Fire Hall at Katie Cook's Sweet 16. He doesn't recognize me. This is fabulous. I have to email Desi with this. Aw, shit.

It's good that he's looking to meet honest fun girls who provide affection though. That's why all his friends are the girls with pictures of "LOOK! BOOBIES! I HAVE BOOBIES! DID YOU PERCHANCE NOTICE MY BOOBIES? BECAUSE I HAVE SOME! NOT ONE, BUT TWO!"

Oh Elmer. There are some days I really miss you, you little redneck pissant town. Tear.

Comments

[wangch61.livejournal.com]

amazing.

[prettykate.livejournal.com]

That is EVERYONE on myspace!

including my lil' sis... *SOB!*

[fadingembers.livejournal.com]

Tell her not to friend Jack! He's a creep!

[cheekybaby.livejournal.com]

I have MySpace and I never use it. I should update my info so random guys can friend me. :)

I have boobies. Two of 'em, even. :)

[wangch61.livejournal.com]

i never use my account either....also on a sadder note i dont have boobies.

but my roomate does...he has 2 of them.

[cheekybaby.livejournal.com]

Then he should get MySpace! :)

[wangch61.livejournal.com]

its would be pretty funny....but that would make friendster cry

[cheekybaby.livejournal.com]

I am not on Friendster.... I feel like I should be, to go play with the hip Internet kids, but.... eh. I have enough webspace devoted to me, I think. :)

[fadingembers.livejournal.com]

I think I tried to get on Friendster once, and the steps or downloading or whatever I had to do boggled my mind. Besides, me and LJ are BFF now.

[pyrobovaphiliac.livejournal.com]

I dunno if you've seen it, but here's Ze Frank's rant on Friendster.

[fadingembers.livejournal.com]

I just finally got around to watching that, and I must say it is HI-larious! You have good taste in internet movies :D

[cheekybaby.livejournal.com]

Yeah, LJ is the bomb diggity. :)

[fadingembers.livejournal.com]

"You've got four breasts!"

[cheekybaby.livejournal.com]

Two guest breasts.... :)

[fadingembers.livejournal.com]

And two you can take home afterwards, oh it's brilliant!

[cheekybaby.livejournal.com]

*snicker*

[arafel.livejournal.com]

"Here are the rules of the house. I have two breastesses. Not one, two." --Misato

[fadingembers.livejournal.com]

"Are you suggesting I magically grow extra breasts?"
"Not grow! Acquire!"

Elmer!

[suburban-panic.livejournal.com]

I worked in Elmer over the summer in 1994, pumping gas at the Coastal at the corner of King's Highway and Rt. 41. That was an education, man.

Oh yeah, boobies.

Everyone else is talking about them.

Re: Elmer!

[fadingembers.livejournal.com]

I'm trying to REMEMBER where King's Highway is, man.

You talk about boobies all day at work, though, so it doesn't break up your day quite like it does for the rest of us.

Re: Elmer!

[suburban-panic.livejournal.com]

  It's the main intersection on 41 when you go through "downtown." The Coastal was on one corner, there was an old general store on another, another gas station... a Texaco, I think? There's a Dodge dealership across 41 from the Coastal, and the Elmer Diner on the other side and down a little way.

Re: Elmer!

[fadingembers.livejournal.com]

No wonder I was confused! That's Route 40! And Main street, because it's the only road with a traffic light, of course it's main.

Re: Elmer!

[suburban-panic.livejournal.com]

Hrm. I thought it was 41. Oh, well.

[pyrobovaphiliac.livejournal.com]

I know what you mean about MySpace. There is nothing that can keep the illiterate from hitting on us:

1. You have a new friend request from Kristin! (without even sending a message)

2. (I send a message essentially saying, "Who are you and why did you contact me if you live in PA?")

3. You have a new MySpace message from Kristin!
3a. "aww i just had to say that you are the cutest thing"
3b. "oh lol i'm sorry ithought you went to esu.. my friend jenna goes to rutgers. that's about the only connection i have to rutgers. sorry about that"

Her friend Jenna goes to... ARGH! Like I know every pot head undergrad at one of the largest schools in the state.

But don't get me wrong. It's good to be loved.

[pyrobovaphiliac.livejournal.com]

I forgot to mention, Kristin's default Myspace picture was of her in a bikini top. So I guess she has boobies. But not grammar. Just boobies.

[fadingembers.livejournal.com]

Maybe she had grammar, but she traded it in to buy the bikini? Or boobies? Kids today, I SWEAR.