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You know back in May, when I said that graduation would hit me sometime in September?

Hit me this morning. Gonna be a long day.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

From:

fizrep.livejournal.com

I'm help to help you , also. As a victim of abuse, (as a child, my salad vegetables would thrash me before I could eat them), I understand your pain. Just give the word, my new friend in need.

From:

lizature.livejournal.com

Oh my god, I feel for you. How did you manage to get through that?

From:

fizrep.livejournal.com

It was pretty rough... my therapist had me confront my fears and residual anger by attacking cloth dummies with bottles of Thousand Island dressing. It mostly worked, though I now feel strangely angry whenever I go to a salad bar.

From:

lizature.livejournal.com

That's amazing...you are a strong individual.

There is a salad dressing by Kraft called Cucumber Ranch, have you tried that?

From:

fizrep.livejournal.com

Nope, but I hea that's where the cukes go to undergo an intensive three week program to lose weight. It's like a fat farm, except they lose cellulose instead of cellulite.

From:

lizature.livejournal.com

Hmm, I guess that's a good thing...I like my cucumbers long, thick, and firm.

From:

chaosvizier.livejournal.com

Well, wait'll you get a load of my zucchini...

From:

lizature.livejournal.com

I think you should give fizrep a mouth full of zucchini as a form of cognitive-behavioral therapy.

From:

chaosvizier.livejournal.com

Gradumacashun does not hit. It taps, gently, like the knock of the Jehovah's Witness at the door. It holds, firmly, like the jaw of the pit bull you have directed at the visiting missionary. It hums, soothingly, like the angry swarm of killer bees that you reserved for such intrusions. But it never hits, solidly, like the head of Mjolnir upon all heathen followers of lesser gods.

From:

fizrep.livejournal.com

Nor does it bonk, like the aggressive broccoli. Oh God, flashback! Mommy greenmonster thing in veggie fridgedrawer! Mak it stop! make it stop! Foot owies, pinkytoe carrotmashed!