40cakes | It's only a livejournal entry...

You never know what will set me off these days. I blame it on the fact that I'm in Coats and Dresses now.

In line behind a mother and her 11 year old son, I overheard this conversation:

SON
But it's good that this is the uncut version, cause that's better.

MOTHER
Uh huh.

SON
Cause, like, in the American version...well, this is American, too, just uncut...but in the cut version that they show on TV and stuff, like you won't see stuff you see here. Like, here, you can see a girl get punched in the face and you can see her blood spray all over.

(I want to say "Yeah, hit her again!" but fear this will cause the mother to have an anuerism. Plus, I'm curious to see her reaction to his enthusiasm that the Dragonball Z tape she just purchased for him has such violence: "Girls get hit?!")

MOTHER
OH, really? Geez, sounds great.

SON
Well, you know, it's like more grown up, but it's not THAT grown up. It's still just a cartoon.

And thus, the siren goes off in my brain. In my mind, I grab the larvae by the collar of his shirt and cry out, "NEVER say 'it's just a cartoon,' you understand me? NEVER! Underestimating something because it was made with millions of hand drawn pictures instead of millions of photographs of flesh and blood is what makes this country full of stupid, stupid children who think saying 'Tim-MEH!' back and forth for seven hours is hilarious! Never do that!"

I don't know why I'm affected by that phrase. I know what he meant by it. Taking the girl equivalent of DBZ, Sailor Moon, I understand all too clearly. In the uncut version of the first season finale, everyone dies. Everyone. No one is kidnapped, no one just "passes out," everyone just doesn't "forget everything." People are killed. Painfully. Stabbing and electrocution and fires. But since it's Sailor Moon, and it's just a cartoon, we can't deal with such issues. Little kids can't find out about death! Let them know that people don't live forever, and next thing, they'll find out about sex! (Gasp!) And that life isn't always fair! (Shock!) And don't you think that if Tommy Hilfiger is going to charge you $50 for a shirt, it had damn well better be the best fucking shirt you own, that washes and folds itself after wear, slices, dices, protects you from speeding bullets, as well as make you fit in with your other mindless buddies? (Sorry about that one. Personal vendetta.)

But it's just a cartoon. It's animated; of course it's for little kids. Like South Park. Never mind that most of the episodes are satirical, and small children wouldn't (and shouldn't) get half the jokes. Never mind that it's on at ten o'clock at night, when your munchkin had damn well better be tucked in bed, dreaming of sugar plums. You love your child and would never mean them any harm because they are the apple of your eye, the light of your life, so if they kick and scream and say everyone will be around the water fountain, talking about last night's episode, you'll let them stay up and watch it. Hell, you'll buy them the caffeinated beverages so they can stay awake enough to watch. Because it's just a cartoon.

I really don't know where I'm going with this, but shhh. I'm on a roll.

When I was born, I had dark hair and beady little eyes. My father bellowed, "You sure that's my kid? Looks like a chink!" 20 years later, I'm still tied to Asian culture, and my father still scares the ever living shit out of me. Not to say he was a bad father. Oh no, I've been kept in line all my life. Which brings me to another issue of "just a cartoon" - guns. Guns are another one of those bad evil things that fall into the category of "Maybe if we ignore it, we won't ever have to deal with it." Like sex. If you tell your child nothing, he'll never do anything. Right?

My father bought a gun when I was still just a tot. At nights, he kept it on his bedside table, within arm's reach, should someone break in through the window. As soon as he woke up, it went back to its resting place on top of my parents' dresser, something even he has to stretch to reach up to, so there was no chance I'd ever get to it. When I was old enough to get to it, he brought down the mythical weapon and let me hold it. Showed me how to load bullets. Pull back the hammer, aim using the sight on the end of the barrel, pull the trigger. "If anybody ever breaks in to the house, and mommy and daddy aren't home, get this, shoot them in the kneecaps, and call the cops, okay honey?"

If more parents had this talk with their kids, there'd be a lot less accidentally dead kids.

Nah, let's just ignore guns completely. Let's pretend they don't exist. Everyone have guns taken out of your house, boycott stores that sell guns, cut and splice the second amendment, and everyone will be happy! Ooh, don't forget to take guns out of all shows! And let's digitally remove the weapons and put in walkie-talkies! Even if it's just a squirt gun held by a pink-haired child of the future in a show that has absolutely no basis in reality, it's still just a cartoon. Better loop some of the animation and take that out.

I believe this with most of my heart - Trigun's never gonna make it to Adult Swim. That left ventricle still hopes I'm proven wrong.

I'm done with my diatribe. Here :: hands friends page back ::

>^..^