"You're as about extraordinary as a tampon" is now entered into my list of insults to be used.

[40cakes]

While sitting on the toilet the other day, I noticed that the side of the package of Tampax Pearl informs me that these are "Tampons as extraordinary as you are."

Seriously? SERIOUSLY?! I hope not. That's heavily armed with guilt. "Your tampon is smart enough to work out Calculus equations and obtain a college degree, and here you are just sticking it up your twat. You should be ASHAMED, madam." I need my tampons to be as about extraordinary as a small, rolled-up paper towel with a string on it. I suppose that marketing line wasn't as pretty, though.

Or is that line supposed to be a poor reflection of me? I am fit to absorb blood. As extraordinary as a non-sentient janitor. A robot janitor, if you will, only one made of absorbent materials. Until the robots go berserk and figure that the most efficient way of absorbing blood is to just hack up all the women and absorb the blood straight away and then Will Smith has to figure out how to stop them. Aided by the guy who plays Dwight Schrute to be the nerdy hacker Will knew in college and now needs to call upon for help. Directed by Uwe Boll. Or the douche who did Captivity.

My point being, a man totally came up with that line. Like, "What's our new tagline? We want to push the product while making women feel loved."

"Uh...'tampons as extraordinary as you are.'"

"Great! Whaddya wanna do with the rest of the afternoon?"

"Have a few beers, not bleed through our pants! HAR HAR HAR!"

But how's your day going?

Comments

[prettykate.livejournal.com]

I'm feeling Strong. Like a woman.

[fadingembers.livejournal.com]

Strong enough for a man, but made for weak little wimpy women who should be thankful they now have odor protection because god forbid anyone at any time smell them?

Have a tube of yogurt

[phanatic.livejournal.com]

Re: Have a tube of yogurt

[fadingembers.livejournal.com]

Oh man.

Coincidentally, that's perfect size to be an anti-yeast infection-related yogurt douche.

punchline?

[delascabezas.livejournal.com]

the ad, and your tampon? probably not written as is by a guy, but it was probably cut down to what it was by one.

Re: punchline?

[fadingembers.livejournal.com]

True, true. "'An extraordinary tampon for extraordinary women'...meh, we can cut that down."

[nothingjerk.livejournal.com]

Well how much marketing can you do for a tampon, especially if you can't mention what you actully do with it as most of middle america would be all pissy about that.

Why is it so extraordinary? does it have a laser sight or perhaps is medicated and releaves cramps, or does it vibrate? Maybe it can be used to plug dams and levies if they break.

I need a "VAG!" icon.

[fadingembers.livejournal.com]

Man, any of the above additions to the tampon industry would probably be welcome.

Re: I need a "VAG!" icon.

[nothingjerk.livejournal.com]

We can work out a buisness model at flip night
we will be billionaires

[arafel.livejournal.com]

*laughs out loud*

Tampons aren't the only period product with a strange tagline. Always used "Have a good period!" for their tagline for a while, and okay, yeah, I'm crampy and bloated and uncomfortable and I'm just having a GREAT period because of my maxi pad, oh yes.

[fadingembers.livejournal.com]

I see those, too! I totally wouldn't mind that if they changed up the taglines on the little adhesive wingholder dealies, like a fortune cookie. "Have a good period...IN BED!" But no, always the same. Boooooo.

IAWTP

[laliatk.livejournal.com]

I don't have anything to add to this post except a HELL YEAH. :)

Re: IAWTP

[fadingembers.livejournal.com]

Why thank you!

Hee, bouncing tits.

[pyrobovaphiliac.livejournal.com]

Ironically, as I read this post I was indeed drinking a beer and and bleeding in my pants.

[lady-ganesh.livejournal.com]

Now you know why I'm glad I have a cup.