Blog For Choice Day
Jan. 22nd, 2007 12:50 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
40cakesWhen you consider that I've always guided my life by what some sort of stern patriarchal figure has told me to do and what not to do, it makes sense that I became a born-again Christian. I was twelve years old. I stopped cursing. I avoided TV shows and music that used profanity and talked about sex. I even gave up Beavis & Butt-head, which I must say, was quite the sacrifice. I had the True Love Waits card in my wallet, cut out of the back of an issue of Brio magazine. I was a clean, wholesome young woman, and I echoed the sentiments of those much older than me, like a good little child.
Condoms in schools is like handing kids loaded guns, but just saying, "Don't use this! This is just in case you have to."
Girls only have sex to try and keep a boy – and even though boys say they want sex all the time, they don't really respect any girl who gives it to them.
The second a sperm and egg unite, a unique genetic code is created, making that baby an entirely different person than its mother. That means abortion is murder!
And of course, no sex till marriage. My friends and I in high school all totally swore by this one. It was much easier for me, never actually having a boyfriend. I could gladly sit on my pedestal of abstinence, looking down my nose at not only those popular girls who had children (or worse – abortions!), but also at my own friends who were "technical" virgins, as the term went.
Then I got one. He was a lot like my first car – not very big, rather shoddy, never worked, and a drain on my finances. But really, no one else was going to take him, and he was rather charming in his uselessness. I pretended he was mine and I loved him. He said he was a good Christian boy. Great, because there's this Bible verse somewhere about not yoking with other oxen or something. My Teen Study Bible insert says that means you shouldn't date atheists, because they'll just screw up your faith with all their "questions" and "logic."
When we were getting closer and closer to actually having sex, I kept resisting. Not that I didn't want sex – MAN DID I EVER. But I had just been through five years of indoctrination that sex was bad and scary and terrible. Women never REALLY wanted sex. The first time sucks. Men will say anything to get you into bed, and then dump you the next day. Girls who have sex have to deal with birth control and unwanted pregnancy and disease and wasn't I just so glad I didn't have to think about those things? Once during a discussion of why I still wouldn't have sex with him, I asked, "What would you do if I got pregnant?"
"I don't know; that would be your problem."
Realizing he must have said this, y'know, ALOUD, he did the fastest backpedaling in his life. "Um. I mean, you know, it's your body and your decision and I really couldn't have a say in that, after all." Like I said above, he was retarded, but he was MY retard and could do no wrong.
After we started having sex, a friend asked me the question I had asked him. Sure I was on the pill, but that's only 99.99% effective! What if I was that .01%?
"I'd give it up for adoption."
If anyone here believes that statement under any circumstances would be true for me, you haven't been paying enough attention.
I had reconciled my desire for sex with my beliefs – after all, we were gonna be together forever and get married someday, so it was okay that we were screwing around now. But the thought of pregnancy gave me chills. I didn't want children. I still don't. Could I really go through with nine months of carrying a kid in me? Going through the pain of childbirth? All just to give it away to someone else? But abortion was wrong. Abortion was murder. Abortion isn't a woman exercising rights over her own body – it's killing a baby! If you didn't want to get pregnant, you shouldn't be having sex; playing with fire gets you burned! And yet, here I was, flicking through matchbooks every weekend.
At one point, I think my backup plan was either to "fall down the stairs" or maybe have him punch me in the stomach. Those didn't count as an abortion – that would be a miscarriage. Probably because of the additional threat to my own safety, so if I somehow got hurt in the course of events, I deserved it.
There were baby steps to becoming pro-choice. First there was the most basic concession – rape, incest, health of mother. Those women weren't "asking for it," as it were. Then there was the personal – it'd be okay if I had an abortion. After all, mine would be okay because I wasn't just running around having them all willy-nilly, like birth control. I'd probably only have one, if it came down to that.
Then, the realization that, well, isn't it birth control? By stopping a birth, one is controlling their life and family, thus, birth control. And why should anyone be condemned for getting pregnant? You wouldn't deny medical treatment to a car crash victim, but weren't they "asking for it" by getting behind the wheel? Don’t they know the risks? Even if they wear a seatbelt, that isn't 100% protection! Also, given that they're not cheap, often involve needing a chaperone to get one past protestors, and involves an operation, I don't imagine too many women that are using "revolving door abortion" instead of say, the Pill. And really, if we want to prevent abortion, we should educate people better on how to not get pregnant in the first place. Instead, we have abstinence-only "education", which lies about science, lies about contraception, and teaches the precious children to believe in outdated gender role stereotypes.
I am pro-choice because I believe everyone should have choices and education in life. That's the American dream, right? If you want to be Quiverfull and go have 15 children, that's your right. Your choice. If I want to have 0 children, that is my right, my choice. And just as I would never force sterilization onto anyone who wants to have 15 children, I would ask that no one take away my right to choose condoms or Pills or diaphragms or fertility awareness or tubal ligations or abortion.
People have abortions for many reasons, some good and some bad. The same can be said about childbirth. No one's calling to outlaw pregnancy because one time a couple had a kid because they thought it would save their failing marriage. Women should not have to be put on trial for their medical decisions.
Condoms in schools is like handing kids loaded guns, but just saying, "Don't use this! This is just in case you have to."
Girls only have sex to try and keep a boy – and even though boys say they want sex all the time, they don't really respect any girl who gives it to them.
The second a sperm and egg unite, a unique genetic code is created, making that baby an entirely different person than its mother. That means abortion is murder!
And of course, no sex till marriage. My friends and I in high school all totally swore by this one. It was much easier for me, never actually having a boyfriend. I could gladly sit on my pedestal of abstinence, looking down my nose at not only those popular girls who had children (or worse – abortions!), but also at my own friends who were "technical" virgins, as the term went.
Then I got one. He was a lot like my first car – not very big, rather shoddy, never worked, and a drain on my finances. But really, no one else was going to take him, and he was rather charming in his uselessness. I pretended he was mine and I loved him. He said he was a good Christian boy. Great, because there's this Bible verse somewhere about not yoking with other oxen or something. My Teen Study Bible insert says that means you shouldn't date atheists, because they'll just screw up your faith with all their "questions" and "logic."
When we were getting closer and closer to actually having sex, I kept resisting. Not that I didn't want sex – MAN DID I EVER. But I had just been through five years of indoctrination that sex was bad and scary and terrible. Women never REALLY wanted sex. The first time sucks. Men will say anything to get you into bed, and then dump you the next day. Girls who have sex have to deal with birth control and unwanted pregnancy and disease and wasn't I just so glad I didn't have to think about those things? Once during a discussion of why I still wouldn't have sex with him, I asked, "What would you do if I got pregnant?"
"I don't know; that would be your problem."
Realizing he must have said this, y'know, ALOUD, he did the fastest backpedaling in his life. "Um. I mean, you know, it's your body and your decision and I really couldn't have a say in that, after all." Like I said above, he was retarded, but he was MY retard and could do no wrong.
After we started having sex, a friend asked me the question I had asked him. Sure I was on the pill, but that's only 99.99% effective! What if I was that .01%?
"I'd give it up for adoption."
If anyone here believes that statement under any circumstances would be true for me, you haven't been paying enough attention.
I had reconciled my desire for sex with my beliefs – after all, we were gonna be together forever and get married someday, so it was okay that we were screwing around now. But the thought of pregnancy gave me chills. I didn't want children. I still don't. Could I really go through with nine months of carrying a kid in me? Going through the pain of childbirth? All just to give it away to someone else? But abortion was wrong. Abortion was murder. Abortion isn't a woman exercising rights over her own body – it's killing a baby! If you didn't want to get pregnant, you shouldn't be having sex; playing with fire gets you burned! And yet, here I was, flicking through matchbooks every weekend.
At one point, I think my backup plan was either to "fall down the stairs" or maybe have him punch me in the stomach. Those didn't count as an abortion – that would be a miscarriage. Probably because of the additional threat to my own safety, so if I somehow got hurt in the course of events, I deserved it.
There were baby steps to becoming pro-choice. First there was the most basic concession – rape, incest, health of mother. Those women weren't "asking for it," as it were. Then there was the personal – it'd be okay if I had an abortion. After all, mine would be okay because I wasn't just running around having them all willy-nilly, like birth control. I'd probably only have one, if it came down to that.
Then, the realization that, well, isn't it birth control? By stopping a birth, one is controlling their life and family, thus, birth control. And why should anyone be condemned for getting pregnant? You wouldn't deny medical treatment to a car crash victim, but weren't they "asking for it" by getting behind the wheel? Don’t they know the risks? Even if they wear a seatbelt, that isn't 100% protection! Also, given that they're not cheap, often involve needing a chaperone to get one past protestors, and involves an operation, I don't imagine too many women that are using "revolving door abortion" instead of say, the Pill. And really, if we want to prevent abortion, we should educate people better on how to not get pregnant in the first place. Instead, we have abstinence-only "education", which lies about science, lies about contraception, and teaches the precious children to believe in outdated gender role stereotypes.
I am pro-choice because I believe everyone should have choices and education in life. That's the American dream, right? If you want to be Quiverfull and go have 15 children, that's your right. Your choice. If I want to have 0 children, that is my right, my choice. And just as I would never force sterilization onto anyone who wants to have 15 children, I would ask that no one take away my right to choose condoms or Pills or diaphragms or fertility awareness or tubal ligations or abortion.
People have abortions for many reasons, some good and some bad. The same can be said about childbirth. No one's calling to outlaw pregnancy because one time a couple had a kid because they thought it would save their failing marriage. Women should not have to be put on trial for their medical decisions.
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no subject
Date: 2007-01-22 06:47 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-01-22 07:33 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-01-22 07:43 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-01-22 07:20 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-01-22 07:31 pm (UTC)Well, it is the 34th anniversay of Roe v. Wade, so it's not just like it was scheduled for any given Monday ;-)
no subject
Date: 2007-01-22 07:45 pm (UTC)My God, I love you.
no subject
Date: 2007-01-22 07:37 pm (UTC)i think too many people see the numbers and think that <1 is really, really close to zero, so that's practically nothing-and forget that if you are in that unlucky 0.01%, it's a big deal. just another reason why abortion is still a necessary option. no matter how responsible you are, things can still go wrong and you can wind up as the real person hidden in that tiny, faceless statistic. (also, too many people seem to not realize that the 99% number is only for perfect use. perfect use being one of those "in theory" things that rarely happens consistently in reality.)
no subject
Date: 2007-01-22 07:46 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-01-22 08:05 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-01-22 08:09 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-01-22 08:08 pm (UTC)As a man i feel like my opinions and feeling on this particualr subject are moot. How could I push my opinion on something that i could not experience or do ever, no matter how hard I try no matter what vitamins I take will will never be pregnant. So I respect a woman's right to choose her own fate more than anything.
I do disagree with you on one thing
If you do get in a car EVER you are just asking for an accident, thats why i take public transportation.
no subject
Date: 2007-01-23 12:15 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-01-23 01:17 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-01-23 06:31 pm (UTC)check it out:
First Freedom First (http://www.firstfreedomfirst.org/)
Click on the Green Reproductive Health circle to read more on that topic. And sign the petition!