Signs of the Season

[40cakes]

Fuck the calendar: it's officially winter.

How do I know?

I just broke out the hand lotion.

[EDIT] Snicker. Oh, c'mon, kids. You know very well that when I talk about masturbation, I don't mince words.

Comments

[dialogue.livejournal.com]

Dude. My knuckles are starting to dry out and die, too.

[fadingembers.livejournal.com]

It's weird - it's not even my knuckles, it's my PALMS. WTF?

[chaosblue.livejournal.com]

God, I am a hopeless perv. XD XD XD

[fadingembers.livejournal.com]

I'm surprised it took someone to get to this comment to perv the thread. I was expecting someone to start off with "broke out the hand lotion." Y'all aren't as fast as you used to be XD

[suburban-panic.livejournal.com]

  Tell that to the hot, sweaty feet I had after walking to the market and back on my lunch break!


  Go on, tell them. Speak to my feet!

[fadingembers.livejournal.com]

Hello feet! How are you today?

[suburban-panic.livejournal.com]

Sweaty. I turn my toes up at your nonsense about Winter.

[fadingembers.livejournal.com]

Perhaps you need new footwear? You should speak to LBB about that. Has he been treating you two well?

[suburban-panic.livejournal.com]

  Fine, thanks. It's just hot enough here in Philly that we got uncomfortably warm walking a few blocks. I'll spare you the details, but word is that the armpits didn't fare very well either.

  And we're wearing sneakers, because our office dress code is basically "Wear Clothes."

[fadingembers.livejournal.com]

And we're wearing sneakers, because our office dress code is basically "Wear Clothes."

I find that rather surprising, given where you work.

Perhaps he should invest in a pair of flip flops. And ask him to paint your nails. Or have his wife do it as she may have more experience and will certainly have a better angle.

[prettykate.livejournal.com]

I jerk off a lot in the winter too!

[fadingembers.livejournal.com]

Well, y'know, whatever keeps me busy and off the streets. Everybody needs a hobby.

[nothingjerk.livejournal.com]

So many Jokes Running through my head I'm getting a nose bleed.

[fadingembers.livejournal.com]

Pinch your nose and tilt your head back and the blood will drown the jokes.

[nothingjerk.livejournal.com]

I'll try that now,

Nose bleeds are better than sexual harassment lawsuits.

[fadingembers.livejournal.com]

There are a whole lotta things better than sexual harassment lawsuits. Cherry cola, for instance. WTF, Coke Zero?

[nothingjerk.livejournal.com]

How is it different from Diet Coke?

Cherry Coke is very Supieor

[fadingembers.livejournal.com]

How is it different from Diet Coke?

Lord help me, I DON'T KNOW.

[nothingjerk.livejournal.com]

I guess I'll have to bring my own Cherry Syrup to work
:-/

[arafel.livejournal.com]

The shea butter hand repair lotion that Crabtree and Evelyn sells is awesome.

And hand lotion's not the best for that anyway. That's why God created Astroglide!

[fadingembers.livejournal.com]

I have the new "for ladies" stuff from Trojan! Free, from work!

Besides, shouldn't you be pitching me K-Y?

[arafel.livejournal.com]

Hmmm... I don't pitch any of my company's products that I don't myself enjoy. And K-Y is not the lube of choice, so to speak.