Wow! I feel like a real girl!
May. 21st, 2002 11:49 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
40cakesMaybe it's my calves. I mean, when the seasonal department was Christmas stuff, I wore skirts all the time, and no one gave a damn. I wore makeup every day, did my hair every day, did nothing different than I did today. I always wear boob shirts. When you have this sorta chest, EVERY shirt is a boob shirt; it's unavoidable. I did nothing different. Except wear a shorter skirt to show off my DDRified calves.
When the fuck did I become "pretty"?
Don't get me wrong. I'm very conceited, thank you, so I'll admit I'm not chopped liver. Nonetheless, people usually don't agree with me so easily. And if it had just been two guys that I work with telling me I had looked nice,
Then this Jamaican guy strolls into the store. He nods his head at me and motions me over as if I'm his bitch. I'm used to customers doing that, so I just put on my "I'm trying not to kill you" smile and walk over. He says he's interested in a girl and wants to buy her some panties and a bra. I should note that this is my first tip off that he isn't right in the head, seeing as I worked in bathing suits tonight. I just kinda nod, and then he asks, "Well, I need the right size. What size bra do you wear?"
A 36 FU. "I don't give out that information at work. Why don't you try to find the appropriate size for your girlfriend?"
"Well, she's not my girlfriend yet. But I want to get her a gift to show her I care. So I want to get her a nice set of panties. That's a nice gift, right?"
You want to give her underwear as a gift to say I care? What, a Hallmark card isn't good enough anymore? My mother warned me about men like you. "Well, it's not exactly a traditional first gift you want to give a girl. That's something you want to wait to give her, after you've gotten more intimate. Most guys start out with jewellery."
"Well, I'm not about the jewellery. I'm not into vain things like that. You see..." He proceeds to perform a monologue about a girl's true beauty shining through, without needing gold or silver. I wonder why he seems to think lingerie isn't a vanity gift. "D'ya know what I mean?" and a pause indicates it's my turn to talk. I nod.
"So what's your number?"
K-4 "I don't give out that information, either."
"Oh, c'mon. You're a very beautiful woman. Are you gonna tell me you can't give out your number?"
Judging by the way your eyes keep darting six inches below my face, I'll take your definition of beautiful to mean, "Big jumbaloombas.""I'm also taken."
"Oh, in the grand scheme of things, no one's taken."
"Well, I've given myself away, then."
"But he doesn't have to know. In fact, how do you know he isn't banging some girl right now?"
Visions of Rob banging some girl float through my head. However, not so much banging in the sense that he is having sex with her, but beating her in the head with a hammer while shouting, Stop touching me! I don't like you, you stupid whore! "Trust me. I know."
I point him in the direction of the lingerie department, because if he's dead set on getting a girl panties, he should really high-tail it out of bathing suits. "Aw, girl, you're just gonna point me away?"
Dammit. I hate being such a motherfucking nice little bitch. "Okay, then..." and I walk him over to lingerie. I point him towards the juniors camisole sets, hoping I can toss him at Paula and make a break for it. But he sticks around and starts pointing at the skimpier sets, still trying to proposition me.
"Don't tell me you're 40."
"Okay, I won't."
"And you're not 30, right? You're still in your 20's, you should be having fun!"
Were I the type of girl to divulge intimate facts about my sex life, you'd find that I have quite a bit of fun, thank you."I already have fun with my boyfriend."
He fingers the material on a silky set. "See, I like this kinda material, because it almost feels like a second skin. It really sets off those sexy feelings, y'know? Like when your nipple's been sucked and sucked, and it just gets at that point, y'know? That's very sexy."
I'm sorry, I'll have to kill you now. "Hm."
"And when a girl wakes up and she just has that look about her, she's very sexy when she wakes up, when her nipples are all pointed, it's very sexy."
Sir, I'm a pervert who incites others to watch pornography with me. At the end of the day, I go home to write smut. Your repeated use of the word nipple will not entice me. "Hm."
"When you get with me, girl, you're gonna have the greatest time of your life, and you'll never forget it."
"I'm not going to get with you."
"No one would have to know. You'd just be a girl gettin' with a boy."
"I would know. And I know that I already get with a man."
"He doesn't have to know, that's what I'm sayin'."
"No, he doesn't. And he won't know, because I'm not giving you my number. If you'll excuse me, I have to get back to my department before I get in trouble."
I walked back to bathing suits, and he tried to walk with me, but I walked too fast. "Aw, now ya gonna walk in front of me?"
"Yeah. I do that. If you can't keep up, that's your problem."
And he left the store. Good. I hope I never see him again. I also left out the part of the story where he talked about how I don't even have to take off the silk panties when (Yes, he kept using "When," not "if") he has sex with me, just push them aside a little, and that's much sexier. I couldn't pick up most of it because of his accent, and I was singing Sailor Moon songs in my head during most of the time to block him out. Fucker.
Actually, since I turned him down, he isn't really fucking anything, I suppose.
>^..^
When the fuck did I become "pretty"?
Don't get me wrong. I'm very conceited, thank you, so I'll admit I'm not chopped liver. Nonetheless, people usually don't agree with me so easily. And if it had just been two guys that I work with telling me I had looked nice,
Then this Jamaican guy strolls into the store. He nods his head at me and motions me over as if I'm his bitch. I'm used to customers doing that, so I just put on my "I'm trying not to kill you" smile and walk over. He says he's interested in a girl and wants to buy her some panties and a bra. I should note that this is my first tip off that he isn't right in the head, seeing as I worked in bathing suits tonight. I just kinda nod, and then he asks, "Well, I need the right size. What size bra do you wear?"
A 36 FU. "I don't give out that information at work. Why don't you try to find the appropriate size for your girlfriend?"
"Well, she's not my girlfriend yet. But I want to get her a gift to show her I care. So I want to get her a nice set of panties. That's a nice gift, right?"
You want to give her underwear as a gift to say I care? What, a Hallmark card isn't good enough anymore? My mother warned me about men like you. "Well, it's not exactly a traditional first gift you want to give a girl. That's something you want to wait to give her, after you've gotten more intimate. Most guys start out with jewellery."
"Well, I'm not about the jewellery. I'm not into vain things like that. You see..." He proceeds to perform a monologue about a girl's true beauty shining through, without needing gold or silver. I wonder why he seems to think lingerie isn't a vanity gift. "D'ya know what I mean?" and a pause indicates it's my turn to talk. I nod.
"So what's your number?"
K-4 "I don't give out that information, either."
"Oh, c'mon. You're a very beautiful woman. Are you gonna tell me you can't give out your number?"
Judging by the way your eyes keep darting six inches below my face, I'll take your definition of beautiful to mean, "Big jumbaloombas.""I'm also taken."
"Oh, in the grand scheme of things, no one's taken."
"Well, I've given myself away, then."
"But he doesn't have to know. In fact, how do you know he isn't banging some girl right now?"
Visions of Rob banging some girl float through my head. However, not so much banging in the sense that he is having sex with her, but beating her in the head with a hammer while shouting, Stop touching me! I don't like you, you stupid whore! "Trust me. I know."
I point him in the direction of the lingerie department, because if he's dead set on getting a girl panties, he should really high-tail it out of bathing suits. "Aw, girl, you're just gonna point me away?"
Dammit. I hate being such a motherfucking nice little bitch. "Okay, then..." and I walk him over to lingerie. I point him towards the juniors camisole sets, hoping I can toss him at Paula and make a break for it. But he sticks around and starts pointing at the skimpier sets, still trying to proposition me.
"Don't tell me you're 40."
"Okay, I won't."
"And you're not 30, right? You're still in your 20's, you should be having fun!"
Were I the type of girl to divulge intimate facts about my sex life, you'd find that I have quite a bit of fun, thank you."I already have fun with my boyfriend."
He fingers the material on a silky set. "See, I like this kinda material, because it almost feels like a second skin. It really sets off those sexy feelings, y'know? Like when your nipple's been sucked and sucked, and it just gets at that point, y'know? That's very sexy."
I'm sorry, I'll have to kill you now. "Hm."
"And when a girl wakes up and she just has that look about her, she's very sexy when she wakes up, when her nipples are all pointed, it's very sexy."
Sir, I'm a pervert who incites others to watch pornography with me. At the end of the day, I go home to write smut. Your repeated use of the word nipple will not entice me. "Hm."
"When you get with me, girl, you're gonna have the greatest time of your life, and you'll never forget it."
"I'm not going to get with you."
"No one would have to know. You'd just be a girl gettin' with a boy."
"I would know. And I know that I already get with a man."
"He doesn't have to know, that's what I'm sayin'."
"No, he doesn't. And he won't know, because I'm not giving you my number. If you'll excuse me, I have to get back to my department before I get in trouble."
I walked back to bathing suits, and he tried to walk with me, but I walked too fast. "Aw, now ya gonna walk in front of me?"
"Yeah. I do that. If you can't keep up, that's your problem."
And he left the store. Good. I hope I never see him again. I also left out the part of the story where he talked about how I don't even have to take off the silk panties when (Yes, he kept using "When," not "if") he has sex with me, just push them aside a little, and that's much sexier. I couldn't pick up most of it because of his accent, and I was singing Sailor Moon songs in my head during most of the time to block him out. Fucker.
Actually, since I turned him down, he isn't really fucking anything, I suppose.
>^..^
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
Stupid asshole
Date: 2002-05-22 08:51 pm (UTC)Now, that would be a pretty sight. ^___^ *imagines Rob beating the guy's head in while going on and on about his kitty*
But seriously, it would've gotten to the point where I would've told the man, "Look, asshole, you shut up and get the hell out of here, or I'm filing a sexual harrassment charge against you." A job is important, but no one deserves to be treated like that, especially after you told the guy repeatedly that you weren't interested.
~Robin
Re: Stupid asshole
Date: 2002-05-22 09:02 pm (UTC)>^..^