My adventures with fuel*

[40cakes]

So my car is old and rather particular about what type of gas I put in it. And while my car is very fuel-efficient, I also drive 140 miles every day - I was a bit of a regular at my local Exxon. Until the guys there got to recognize me, and were always friendly, and then decided to try flirting, and the morning they asked me if I'd like a cigar or a drink (at 6 am), I decided to change gas stations.

I started going to the local Wawa gas station. Usually it was so busy, no one really has time to stand around and talk to me, which is fine. Today, I get a young gentleman who looks at my car and says, "Oh, nice, I have a Corolla, too. 1992."

"Cool. This is a 1986."

"Yeah, they're great cars. I get great mileage, still have a good paint job, it still runs."

He walks away and helps someone else, and I open my delicious breakfast yogurt, Trix spoon in mouth. He comes back and says, "Aww, look at you with your little spoon."

Though it's none of his business, I open my mouth to say, "Hey, it was the only spoon that I didn't care if it got left behind or thrown out," but he keeps speaking and says, "I'd like to feed you bananas. Like, baby food bananas with a spoon. Oh, I'm sorry, was that too fresh?"**

I took my receipt and drove away.

OH MY GOD WHAT THE FUCK I HAVE TO FIND ANOTHER GAS STATION?!

If I had this many guys after me in high school, I would've had a happier adolescence, I swear. I'm friendly and I smile a lot; I can't help that, and frankly, I think more people should do so. So what's a good way of explaining to someone that just because I'm friendly when I say, "Ten dollars of premium," that doesn't mean, "Hey baby, I want you to pump my gas [nudge, nudge, wink, wink, say no more, know what I mean]"? (I wasn't even using the voice!!)

>^..^<

*For those of you who don't know, in New Jersey, it's illegal to pump your own gas. Our stations here have gas station attendants who take your money and pump your gas for you. I KNOW it's stupid.

**What the shit kinda pick-up line is that, anyway? At least I can get the banana part - he's alluding in his own caveman way that he would like to fantasize about my performing fellatio on him. Whatever. But baby food? What the shit? Don't you have to hold off divulsion of fetishes until about the third date? Is there a rule about this somewhere?

Comments

[cheekybaby.livejournal.com]

Holy Christ, I'm not laughing at you, but that's fucking funny.

BABY FOOD BANANAS?! OH. My. GOD!

That's so wrong, man.

I did learn that when I go to NJ, if I get out like I'm gonna pump my own gas, it makes the attendants scurry over FAST. I lived there for 10 years, from 15-25, so I never knew how to pump gas, and then I moved to PA, and it's SO much easier to do it yourself! And if I'm ever kept waiting when I'm driving in NJ, I get out like I'm gonna break the law and make everyone realize how ridiculous mandatory full-serve is, and they RUN to do it for me.

[/rant]

But yeah, bananas? Damn. :)

[spuffylover24.livejournal.com]

I like baby food banana baby food! And vanilla custard pudding too...

or maybe he's just saying that his peepee is real small, like a baby banana and he wants to know if ure into that.

[fadingembers.livejournal.com]

LOL. That's it. It's also mushy.

>^..^

[jaina.livejournal.com]

Maybe it's a sign you need an apartment so you don't have to get gas there? ~_^

[fadingembers.livejournal.com]

Really. This is the last straw that'll make me move. Not the commute, not the lack of free time or sleep, but the gas station irritation.

>^..^

[jaina.livejournal.com]

There's that adage about straws and camels' backs for a reason. ;)

[kc-anathema.livejournal.com]

You could always call the manager of the place and complain anonymously. Tell him/her you felt it was sexual harassment and that you won't be using his station ever again because of it. I'm sure the management would love the heads, since this guy is probably harassing other customers as well. :) KC

[crisischick81.livejournal.com]

What the fuck kind of fetish is *that*? You should've slapped him in the face and told him that that was no way to speak to a lady.

Or just tell him to get a chatroom and some lube and jack off.