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Feb. 16th, 2003 11:39 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
40cakesInstant Slash Story!
The darkness was all around as Golem walked through The Shire down towards his Inn, random thoughts of donkey punching crossing his mind.
He had been shocked earlier when Mikelansoriyn Wyowind had told him she often dreamed about Aragorn involved in mutual masturbation with a dwarf , but each to their own, she didn't know about his fantasies involving Sauron .
One day he would discuss his feelings with Samwise, but not yet, he still hardly believed how aroused he could be by just thinking of Sauron masturbating himself with a the One Ring.
The night air was fresh and he sat down in a quiet location and began to stroke the fireplace tongs he was carrying with him. Would Sauron's eye feel like that to his long finger?
What would Sauron think of him if he knew how his cock grew hard as he thought of eating Lembas bread off Sauron's beautiful toe?
Golem rubbed the fireplace tongs against his eye whispering Sauron's name to himself. He knew he should stop and wait until he got back to his Inn but desire overtook him and he came, screaming Sauron's name into the night.
Meanwhile, Sauron had not been able to sleep and had decided to go out in the night air. The Shire was such a beautiful place at this time of the night. He took a bite of the Lembas bread he was carrying and leisurely scratched his eye.
He jumped in alarm as he heard a voice in the distance. Was that Golem calling his name. He must be in trouble to shout for him with such desperation. He dropped his Lembas bread and ran towards the sound of his Honey Bug's voice.
Sauron stumbled through the darkness towards Golem. Panicked thoughts ran through his head. Was his Honey Bug being attacked by a dwarf. Was he about to be raped by Frodo Baggins dressed as Aragorn? His heart beat faster and he felt the pulse throbbing in his long finger.
Golem, Golem, my Honey Bug, screamed Sauron. It's alright, I'm coming, I'll save you! Golem leaped to his feet in panic, dropping the fireplace tongs and trying to untangle his trousers from around his ankles. He fell over, his bare toe pointing in the air.
Sauron! Golem gasped embarrassedly. What are you doing here? Samwise said you were in your Inn engaged in some donkey punching with Mikelansoriyn Wyowind.
No, I was alone in my Inn with nothing but my the One Ring for company. I couldn't sleep for thinking how beautiful your toe was, and how I would like to stroke my eye against it, and have you kiss my long finger, and now I see your toe for myself I realise that not even Aragorn has a toe to compare with yours.
Oh, Honey Bug, Samwise said you felt that way but I never believed him, I thought you loved Mikelansoriyn Wyowind.
What! That old dwarf, I'd rather get involved in mutual masturbation with Frodo Baggins, a fireplace tongs and Lembas bread than dream of donkey punching with her, Ooh, the very thought makes my long finger curl.
Oh, Golem!
Oh, Sauron, my Honey Bug!
Cue soft music, sounds of donkey punching and mutual masturbation, soft focus and fade.........
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Date: 2003-02-16 11:19 pm (UTC)*darts eyes around nervously*
Date: 2003-02-17 10:12 am (UTC)Re: *darts eyes around nervously*
Date: 2003-02-17 12:13 pm (UTC)>^..^
Re: *darts eyes around nervously*
Date: 2003-02-17 12:27 pm (UTC)Re: *darts eyes around nervously*
Date: 2003-02-22 11:41 am (UTC)Get a master's in animation...make your sicko obsession pay- take it from one who knows :)
And I know that soon you'll be able to take seminars in fanfic...because if you can take seminars in porn you're only one step away...