An Open Letter to Glorified Strippers

[40cakes]

Dear Pussycat Dolls (and by extension, Busta Rhymes):

If you're such a hot, raw, fun, freaky gal, then why don't you go out and find a guy who doesn't already have a girlfriend? Should be easy, right? I mean, after all, you're so awesome. And anyway, going after a guy who gets distracted by every girl in a tight-fitting shirt who claims to be so super is ALWAYS a bad idea.

And what the Hell do you mean by marketing yourself as "raw"? Seriously. You can't mean personality-wise, as you wear overpriced merchandise and your resume consists of "2005 - present: Shook ass. Job skills: Can shake ass. Interests: Shaking ass." Do you mean raw skin? I mean, nothing's sexier than eczema, right? Maybe psoriasis.

Love,
Casey

PS - Or did you mean raw like fish? Because nothing rips a boy away from his girl faster than the promise of hot fish.

Comments

[cheekybaby.livejournal.com]

I find that song extremely catchy and infectious, but I laughed my ass off reading this. :)

[fadingembers.livejournal.com]

Thank you, ma'am. I heartily appreciate the excessive pinkness of your icon! Christmas presents make me happy.

[cheekybaby.livejournal.com]

Six icons for free accounts please me verily. :)

I heart all my Xmas icons. :) Thanks for the love. :)

[fadingembers.livejournal.com]

I still haven't filled up my 100. I like having the extra slots open in case I find an icon and don't want to get rid of another one.

Here's my other Christmas icon!

[cheekybaby.livejournal.com]

Yaaaay!

(I can't even imagine 100 icons. I was really good at 15, but six is pretty good for me.)

[cheekybaby.livejournal.com]

Though it must be nice to have a perfect icon for any occasion..... :)

[fadingembers.livejournal.com]

I only have 100 emotions! Whew!

[nothingjerk.livejournal.com]

HELL YEAH!!!

She is raw because she takes a cheese grater to her ass

All Hot sexy women do now.

I think paris Hilton started it.

[fadingembers.livejournal.com]

Kinky! Is that like S/M on a budget?

"We don't have any sex toys, but, um, I've got...a CHEESE GRATER! AND A RAMEKIN!"

"What in the Hell are you going to do to me with those?"

"I don't know!"

[spuffylover24.livejournal.com]

I'm thinking more like RAW like wrestling.

[fadingembers.livejournal.com]

But wrestling's fake, so she's proudly shouting out the fact that she's all just talk? What an awesome babe XD I'll have to give it up that I'm not as raw as her.

[instagrat.livejournal.com]

fyi ... the pussycat dolls have been around a lot longer than just 2005.

[fadingembers.livejournal.com]

Of this I am aware. But that song came out this year, no?

Frankly, I have better time-wasters than to look up the chronology of cockteases.

[instagrat.livejournal.com]

Yeah ... like writing an open letter to them :)

[fadingembers.livejournal.com]

Duh. That takes no research. I hates me some research.

[eyepoky.livejournal.com]

???????????
" Because nothing rips a boy away from his girl faster than the promise of hot fish."

You mean a hot goldfish swimming
happly in a fish tank?

that is the way to my heart

[fadingembers.livejournal.com]

If it's hot, it's not swimming happily! It's trying to escape from the boiling water! YOU'RE KILLING THE FISH!

[eyepoky.livejournal.com]

angel fish are hot fish
tropical

[mistressrenet.livejournal.com]

The boy I crushed on in high school took the school slut to the prom instead of me.

...she smelled like fish. No joke. Bad fish.

Ah, memories.