I'm the Kevin Smith of 100bullets

[40cakes]

I'm explaining the concept of a drabble when he says, "Well, really, how much can you do with one?" I try to explain that you just do a quick character piece, or a short scene. They're not that hard once you get into the rhythm. We do this back and forth until I pick up that he's hinting that he wants to read something I've written. Tense up. Sweaty palms. This man has seen me naked in harsh lighting, and I'm having heart palpitations over a small geeky activity. "Um. Let me find you a good one."

So I'm trying to find one, and man. Dick and fart jokes, every one. Also, lots of vibrator jokes. Man, do I love a good vibrator joke. The world needs more of those, but we won't get them until the patriarchy is smashed or something.

Oh fuck, there's one written to Britney Spears lyrics. This is just plain embarrassing.

[EDIT] Now he says to me he says, "Show me something larger than 100 words!" I believe the proper term for the noise I made was a "guffaw", accompanied by paling and saying, "But it's all crap!"

Comments

[jaina.livejournal.com]

Well, at least you can blame the Britney one on me. So what'd you come up with?

[fadingembers.livejournal.com]

Wound up with this one, since I already made a joke on this one one time, and he was all, "Hey, that's cheating. You already told me that setup."

[jaina.livejournal.com]

Good choice! That's one of my favorites and it doesn't require extensive backstory.

...the porn is off-limits. XD

[jaina.livejournal.com]

Show him the HP/Lupin crossover!

[fadingembers.livejournal.com]

Snicker. True, man. I was wondering about the HP/SKU one, since he's seen the latter, but that's sort of rubbish, too. INSECURE!

[jaina.livejournal.com]

It is NOT rubbish, but I could see it being a little weird unless you love both series or really love one of them. Funny and clever is good. P.S. I mean it no porn XD

[fadingembers.livejournal.com]

I mean it no porn

See below comment in reply to buttercup. :)

[jaina.livejournal.com]

I completely empathize with not wanting to expose yourself in that way after Mr. Fuckwad--I'd feel the same, I bet--but all I could think of was that Kirk reading porn I've contributed to would be like him seeing me naked, and we're just not that close yet!

[fadingembers.livejournal.com]

He reads my LJ so he saw that one, too! I was trying to pick something that doesn't involve sex and/or lewd humour, and MAN does that significantly lower my body of work.

[rosehiptea.livejournal.com]

If my husband had actually read a few of my drabbles, rather than just bitch that no one could write anything in one hundred words, we would have gotten along better. (I'm not sure what that says about him, or me.)

[fadingembers.livejournal.com]

Did you offer to let him read any of yours? See, I was trying to work my way out of him actually seeing anything creative I do, because it, like, sucks and stuff. I literally went through EVERY SINGLE DRABBLE at 100b and picked one.

[umadoshi.livejournal.com]

This man has seen me naked in harsh lighting, and I'm having heart palpitations over a small geeky activity.

. . . I get all tense when my husband (married a year and a bit, known each other for about nine years) reads anything I've written (esp. if it has any sexual content whatsoever), which is pretty silly since he's supportive of my geekery and encouraging about my writing in general, and says *useful* nice things instead of just automatically saying something's good. So it's not uncommon at all. ^^ And I sympathize.

[fadingembers.livejournal.com]

I didn't know you was married! Neat! That's good that he's supportive and useful. Previous boyfriend once asked to see something, then picked it apart and said it was crap, then complained that I never showed him anything. I think I'm gunshy at this point. Or maybe I'm just closeted about my geekery :D

[umadoshi.livejournal.com]

*laughs* I always feel a little weird saying I'm married, because I don't feel "old enough". Sometimes it feels like it hasn't sunk in yet. ^_^ (Mind you, I'm 27, and my sister got married at 19, and one of my best friends at 18 . . . so I don't get much sympathy when I say I feel too young.)

Previous boyfriend once asked to see something, then picked it apart and said it was crap, then complained that I never showed him anything.

O_O That's kinda nuts. People don't make any sense at all. *shakes head*