She's reading livejournal, She's writing in her livejournal, This is her livejournal...

[40cakes]

Our music department has a box for CDs they don't want and won't use. Today I was passing by and noticed 4 copies of R Kelly's latest album, complete with DVD video of "'Trapped in the Closet' the longform video."

This is pretty much the worst thing I've ever seen. And I've been there for 10 seasons of Mystery Science Theatre 3000. The songs are really godawful, and the video has the acting chops of a middle school drama club.

Nonetheless, all day in my head I keep hearing, "I'm hidin' in the closet, He's comin' to the closet, He's lookin in the closet, He's openin' up the closet..." AND I HATE IT.

If only a zombie would come along and eat out that part of my brain so I could forget I ever heard the song. Like, a barely hungry zombie. Or maybe an anorexic zombie. Because my brain is my friend, as evidenced by the fact that I sometimes call it "brian".

Comments

[jaina.livejournal.com]

Wait, does this mean Meryl was dating your brain?

[fadingembers.livejournal.com]

*snort* Dude, it took me,like, 5 minutes to get that.

[mistressrenet.livejournal.com]

...I thought R. Kelly was an ephibiphile, not gay? I R CONFUSED.

[fadingembers.livejournal.com]

Alright, you're gonna hafta dictionariaze "ephibiphile" for me, lady.

And hee, not gay, but he does use that as a "joke" when someone else actually comes out of the closet. OMG SPOILERZ I WON'T GIVE IT AWAY!

[mistressrenet.livejournal.com]

"Ephibiphile" = likes 'em young.

It's nice to see his career imploding. Now if I could only hunt down every extant copy of "I Believe I Can Fly."

[fadingembers.livejournal.com]

I assumed as much, but um, assuming, does, er, something something. Now my brain ded from closet.

[mistressrenet.livejournal.com]

"Ephibiphile" = likes 'em young.

It's nice to see his career imploding. Now if I could only hunt down every extant copy of "I Believe I Can Fly."

[sache.livejournal.com]

List of smartass comments that this post inspires:

1) *stuffs you in a closet*

2) So, wait. Does this mean that R Kelly is going to come OUT of the closet? I thought he liked little girls.

3) Mmmmm. Brains.

I couldn't decide which to use, so I opted for all of them. :-D

[fadingembers.livejournal.com]

1) Oh noes! I'm claustrophobic!

2) Man, that would be funny. Turns out he actually likes little boys. No wonder he was friend to Michael Jackson during his time of need.

3) BRAAAAAAAINS!

[duelingrose.livejournal.com]

He looks at the closet
I pull out my berretta
He walks up to the closet
He’s close up to the closet
Now he’s at the closet
Now he’s opening the closet

::will now probably be stabbed with a spoon, and WHY THE HELL DOES THAT SONG HAVE CHAPTERS?!::

[fadingembers.livejournal.com]

I love that he pulls out his gun, which he apparently kept in the clothes he slept in...?

[duelingrose.livejournal.com]

Was he even WEARING clothes?!

[fadingembers.livejournal.com]

He was! He was in standard issue rapper wifebeater #0764, and he had the darling fuschia shirt on by one sleeve.

[k-diddy.livejournal.com]

...You mean, it's not supposed to be funny?

Then why do I keep making with the HAHAHAs whenever I hear it?

[fadingembers.livejournal.com]

It's high art. That's never supposed to be funny but it is.

[scathachdhu.livejournal.com]

Shit like this makes me glad I stopped listening to the radio.

[fadingembers.livejournal.com]

I still haven't heard it on the radio, but I saw bits of the video on Best Week Ever, and prettykate posted about it, like, yesterday.

[zuppy28.livejournal.com]

I can't believe I missed them! You know that totally would've been a raffle prize :)

[fadingembers.livejournal.com]

It totally would've! We could've forged his signature! It's just an R with a name! Easy peasy!

[zuppy28.livejournal.com]

well hell

[obifu.livejournal.com]

YOU HAVE THE DVDs? Can I borrow it when you're done?

I think you really need to watch it on a big screen TV w/ surround sound to truly appreciate it.

[fadingembers.livejournal.com]

Kate has one! She wants to play it on repeat forever and ever.

[obifu.livejournal.com]

Really? I thought she just had the files on her computer. I'm really looking forward to watching it.

[fadingembers.livejournal.com]

Now she has both! She will never find herself in the tragedy of lack of R. Kelly!

[aphelant.livejournal.com]

Dude, that some effing sucks. First time I heard it, I pissed my pants. Halfway through, I was ready to kill anyone who mentioned a closet. Thankfully, I've avoided it since. *sigh*

Was there anything good in the pile? *is jealous*