Thoughts and Fears While Listening to U2
Aug. 2nd, 2002 01:03 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
40cakesTook me 3 1/2 weeks to go through all of my mp3's. May be 4 weeks if I don't finish until Monday.
I'm horrible at correspondence and I hate that about myself. Susan is a really good friend, and I don't want to lose that, but I already feel myself slipping into my procrastination ("I'll reply to her email tonight, really I will.") Maybe it's because I've moved so many times, who knows? But I always promise that I'll never lose touch with a person and then poof! Where's the touch?
Melissa used to be my bestest friend in the world (circa 1993). We were exactly alike, spent every weekend at each other's houses, took all the same classes. We were both geeks, and we both moved from Florida the same summer. We visited each other, flying on planes and crossing state lines and such for the next few years, trading letters and phone calls. We were gonna be BFF! Bridesmaids at each other's weddings, my kids were gonna call her Aunt Melissa, her kids call me Aunt Casey. This past April, when I wished her a happy birthday, she sent me an IM asking "Who is this?" After sixth grade, she became thin and pretty and popular and sporty. I became...well, me.
In middle school, Amanda, Heidi, and myself were inseparable. When eighth grade was over, we were all going to different high schools (ah, Kansas), but we planned on hanging out still. Then my family decided to move to Jersey. We had one last sleepover hurrah to make up for it, and even decided to meet in four years, after high school graduation, to see where our lives had taken us. We wrote down predictions, too, in scrawled eighth grade cursive. I think Heidi's came true- last I checked, she was getting married. Amanda had a baby our Junior year. I haven't talked to either of them in four years. We never met again after graduation.
Partially, these things happened because our lives became too different. Even when Melissa and I were online together, our conversations lasted about 20 minutes before we ran out of things to say to each other. And how could I complain to Amanda and Heidi about silly girl gossip when they're both trying to raise families and support themselves?
I'm afraid the same thing will happen with Sue and me. We'll be on the phone, and she'll be talking to me about what a prick David E. Kelley is in real life, and how come he's head writer if she created the show, and she's so glad she got to give her Emmy acceptance speech before he got to the microphone, and I'll be all, "Yeah, I bet he's an ass, but let me tell you about this guy at Boscov's..."
I have a friend I'm very happy for, and at the same time, she should just talk to her parents. She knows who she is.
I miss Rob.
The reason they say being on the computer all the time makes you depressed is because you miss human contact. For the last 3 months, my human contact has been coworkers at Boscov's and my family, with little visitings of prawnies. At the same time that I'm glad I don't talk to high school friends anymore (that bridge was burned, bombed, and the pieces were melted down and sold as scrap metal), I wish I had people around to hang out with.
My playlist is no longer playing U2, but I'm not changing the subject line, dammit.
I feel bad for not writing slutfic. Jaina's been writing a million and one things, and I've gotten about two sentences out. In a long while.
Rented Amelie tonight. Hope it is good.
Probably shouldn't say I'd like to kill people so many times. Will probably someday be used against me in a court of law. Along with my notes from any Honours class in college.
No, I'm not British. Or Canadian. I just like my words to have "u"s in them.
I hate that MSN disconnects me when I'm "idle" for 10 minutes. Especially when I'm not idle. Anyone know how to fix this? I had changed it to "never disconnect" once upon a time, but that was before the new and improved MSN that disconnects your Eva episode downloading at a really good speed.
Want to see more of Eva, so less things will be spoiled for me.
Want to watch "This is Otakudom" with someone who will actually understand it. Have to wait till I see Erin.
Going to sign off now. Have work again tomorrow morning. Bugger.
>^..^
I'm horrible at correspondence and I hate that about myself. Susan is a really good friend, and I don't want to lose that, but I already feel myself slipping into my procrastination ("I'll reply to her email tonight, really I will.") Maybe it's because I've moved so many times, who knows? But I always promise that I'll never lose touch with a person and then poof! Where's the touch?
Melissa used to be my bestest friend in the world (circa 1993). We were exactly alike, spent every weekend at each other's houses, took all the same classes. We were both geeks, and we both moved from Florida the same summer. We visited each other, flying on planes and crossing state lines and such for the next few years, trading letters and phone calls. We were gonna be BFF! Bridesmaids at each other's weddings, my kids were gonna call her Aunt Melissa, her kids call me Aunt Casey. This past April, when I wished her a happy birthday, she sent me an IM asking "Who is this?" After sixth grade, she became thin and pretty and popular and sporty. I became...well, me.
In middle school, Amanda, Heidi, and myself were inseparable. When eighth grade was over, we were all going to different high schools (ah, Kansas), but we planned on hanging out still. Then my family decided to move to Jersey. We had one last sleepover hurrah to make up for it, and even decided to meet in four years, after high school graduation, to see where our lives had taken us. We wrote down predictions, too, in scrawled eighth grade cursive. I think Heidi's came true- last I checked, she was getting married. Amanda had a baby our Junior year. I haven't talked to either of them in four years. We never met again after graduation.
Partially, these things happened because our lives became too different. Even when Melissa and I were online together, our conversations lasted about 20 minutes before we ran out of things to say to each other. And how could I complain to Amanda and Heidi about silly girl gossip when they're both trying to raise families and support themselves?
I'm afraid the same thing will happen with Sue and me. We'll be on the phone, and she'll be talking to me about what a prick David E. Kelley is in real life, and how come he's head writer if she created the show, and she's so glad she got to give her Emmy acceptance speech before he got to the microphone, and I'll be all, "Yeah, I bet he's an ass, but let me tell you about this guy at Boscov's..."
I have a friend I'm very happy for, and at the same time, she should just talk to her parents. She knows who she is.
I miss Rob.
The reason they say being on the computer all the time makes you depressed is because you miss human contact. For the last 3 months, my human contact has been coworkers at Boscov's and my family, with little visitings of prawnies. At the same time that I'm glad I don't talk to high school friends anymore (that bridge was burned, bombed, and the pieces were melted down and sold as scrap metal), I wish I had people around to hang out with.
My playlist is no longer playing U2, but I'm not changing the subject line, dammit.
I feel bad for not writing slutfic. Jaina's been writing a million and one things, and I've gotten about two sentences out. In a long while.
Rented Amelie tonight. Hope it is good.
Probably shouldn't say I'd like to kill people so many times. Will probably someday be used against me in a court of law. Along with my notes from any Honours class in college.
No, I'm not British. Or Canadian. I just like my words to have "u"s in them.
I hate that MSN disconnects me when I'm "idle" for 10 minutes. Especially when I'm not idle. Anyone know how to fix this? I had changed it to "never disconnect" once upon a time, but that was before the new and improved MSN that disconnects your Eva episode downloading at a really good speed.
Want to see more of Eva, so less things will be spoiled for me.
Want to watch "This is Otakudom" with someone who will actually understand it. Have to wait till I see Erin.
Going to sign off now. Have work again tomorrow morning. Bugger.
>^..^
