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Oct. 23rd, 2003 11:27 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
40cakesThe TWOP reviewer for Skin sucked, so I'm gonna provide my own impressions of the show, even though I don't have the episode in front of me. In other words, pretentious complaining!
The whole thing tried to be edgy, and edgy = jump cuts? Whatever. I had expected so much from the summary in TV Guide, and it looked to be so promising. I was promised a non-smutty show about pornography; a modern Romeo and Juliet with virginal teens; and what happens to our star-crossed lovers when they actually have to live with their decision to stay together?
All those questions will be solved next episode, don't worry. Bruckheimer thinks he's working on a film schedule, apparently, and made sure as much as possible happened in the pilot. Maybe he doesn't realize he's supposed to make another 16 hours just in this year. He should get a memo.
In our first episode, Romeo and Juliet (er, Adam and Jewel) meet and fall in love. Hey, cool, whatever. They're supposed to, to kick off the story. And now we head to Goldman enterprises inc llc yada yada, a major pornography company. He's trying to make a big deal with a satellite distributor or maybe a pay channel or something. They don't really go into it; it's just a reason for him to have a business meeting where he can bring out strippers. And the gentlemen he's meeting - they've worked with him before. They deal with porn. And yet, they act like they've never seen a woman before when these hobag-lookin' chicks step right up to the table and start with the disrobing.
Meanwhile, there's a missing little girl. (By the by, I wanted to know more about her. Is she alive? Is she dead? Did she fake her own kidnapping because she didn't win the harp-playing championship?) The arrested suspect (on whom we also find out nothing more) has kiddie porn aplenty on his computer. There's a DA who wants a conviction, no matter what. So he just goes after Goldman.
Oh, and by the way...Goldman's daughter is Jewel, and DA Rome's son is Adam. Whoa! Oh, and in the pilot, a club blows up, our star-crossed lovers' parents find out about their relationship, they don't see each other, they get back together, they go to beachside retreats (all while grounded, apparently...), and lose their virginity to each other. That's a pretty productive week on everyone's part. Again, "Hey, Bruckheimer. 16 MORE HOURS."
And for a show about pornography, it sure had about as much sex as they could get on a network. Oddly enough, I'm not a big fan of TV smut. Why? Because do it properly or not at all. Strippers were everywhere, and on longer than they needed to be. If they wanted to stretch out the story, I have a few much better suggestions. Call me.
But back to the smut. I felt like I was watching Amish pornography as directed by a hummingbird with ADHD. A bunch of fast cuts of shots of acceptably nude body parts. "Oh my God...that was an ankle! And there - the crook of someone's elbow! Scandalous..." Either push some fucking boundaries (literally) or fade to black after he comes through the balcony window.
In short, everything about the series that appealed to me was wrapped up in 45 minutes. Maybe I'll watch Monday, in hopes that it gets better. Maybe we can meet a Benvolio. He needs TP for his bunghole. Er, I mean...no, no one in my English Honors class made Beavis and Butthead jokes while we read R & J.
>^..^
The whole thing tried to be edgy, and edgy = jump cuts? Whatever. I had expected so much from the summary in TV Guide, and it looked to be so promising. I was promised a non-smutty show about pornography; a modern Romeo and Juliet with virginal teens; and what happens to our star-crossed lovers when they actually have to live with their decision to stay together?
All those questions will be solved next episode, don't worry. Bruckheimer thinks he's working on a film schedule, apparently, and made sure as much as possible happened in the pilot. Maybe he doesn't realize he's supposed to make another 16 hours just in this year. He should get a memo.
In our first episode, Romeo and Juliet (er, Adam and Jewel) meet and fall in love. Hey, cool, whatever. They're supposed to, to kick off the story. And now we head to Goldman enterprises inc llc yada yada, a major pornography company. He's trying to make a big deal with a satellite distributor or maybe a pay channel or something. They don't really go into it; it's just a reason for him to have a business meeting where he can bring out strippers. And the gentlemen he's meeting - they've worked with him before. They deal with porn. And yet, they act like they've never seen a woman before when these hobag-lookin' chicks step right up to the table and start with the disrobing.
Meanwhile, there's a missing little girl. (By the by, I wanted to know more about her. Is she alive? Is she dead? Did she fake her own kidnapping because she didn't win the harp-playing championship?) The arrested suspect (on whom we also find out nothing more) has kiddie porn aplenty on his computer. There's a DA who wants a conviction, no matter what. So he just goes after Goldman.
Oh, and by the way...Goldman's daughter is Jewel, and DA Rome's son is Adam. Whoa! Oh, and in the pilot, a club blows up, our star-crossed lovers' parents find out about their relationship, they don't see each other, they get back together, they go to beachside retreats (all while grounded, apparently...), and lose their virginity to each other. That's a pretty productive week on everyone's part. Again, "Hey, Bruckheimer. 16 MORE HOURS."
And for a show about pornography, it sure had about as much sex as they could get on a network. Oddly enough, I'm not a big fan of TV smut. Why? Because do it properly or not at all. Strippers were everywhere, and on longer than they needed to be. If they wanted to stretch out the story, I have a few much better suggestions. Call me.
But back to the smut. I felt like I was watching Amish pornography as directed by a hummingbird with ADHD. A bunch of fast cuts of shots of acceptably nude body parts. "Oh my God...that was an ankle! And there - the crook of someone's elbow! Scandalous..." Either push some fucking boundaries (literally) or fade to black after he comes through the balcony window.
In short, everything about the series that appealed to me was wrapped up in 45 minutes. Maybe I'll watch Monday, in hopes that it gets better. Maybe we can meet a Benvolio. He needs TP for his bunghole. Er, I mean...no, no one in my English Honors class made Beavis and Butthead jokes while we read R & J.
>^..^
