I sure do love this icon.

Let me tell you the story of a boy. We'll call him KE. At Newcomb, we get a fax from the doctor's office about KE - he has burns on his right hand received at work. However, we need the workman's comp info to register him with us. I also need to know what degree burns he has, and if he went to the hospital for them.

A note on the fax says "Call M Manager" at Joe Canal's Liquors. Curiouser and curiouser. How does one acquire burns on their hand while working at a liquor store? Someone broke a bottle of vodka and KE tried cleaning it up with matches? I call M Manager for info on their insurance. M Manager tells me, "Well, I can't help you with that, because I don't know when it happened, or if it happened here."

Wait a second. How does someone BURN their HAND and the MANAGER doesn't know anything about it? If he had said, "Look, KE lied and it didn't happen while he was at work and we won't be paying for it," fine. But to not know?

Pieces of the puzzle come from Kyle, an aide in the office when I called M Manager. "KE?! Oh man, burns on his hand? Hell, he was probably trying to get high at work, and just dropped the blunt on his hand."

Goody.

I call the doctor's office. Maybe THEY have his insurance info. I have to call anyway to find out about his degree of burnage, and what hospital he attended for them.

"First degree burns acquired when his hand caught fire."

Hur duh fwuh? How does someone's hand CATCH FIRE UNNOTICED?!

Me: "Did he go to the hospital for that?!"
Doctor's Office: "Uh...supposedly."
M: "Do you know what hospital?"
DO: "No. He only said he supposedly went. Everything's supposedly with him."
M: "Oh good. Do you have his workman's comp info?"
DO: "No, we're not even sure it happened at work."
M: "Okay, but what date was his injury?"
DO: "We don't know."
M: "Yes, well, thank you."

As I've said before, SJHS is composed of four hospitals - Newcomb, Millville, Bridgeton, and Elmer. His appointment's at Newcomb. The day of his appointment, Tuesday, I'm at Bridgeton. I get a call at Bridgeton from the security guard at Millville.

SG: "Hi, this is security down at Millville. Do you know if Physical Therapy is open today?"
M: "At Millville, no, but it's open everywhere else."
SG: "Well, I've got a KE here for an appointment."
M: "...He's THERE?!"
SG: "Yes, and his doctor's office called and talked to Stephanie, but she's obviously not here. She told him his appointment was today."
M: "It is. At Newcomb."
SG: "At Newcomb?"
M: "Yes. Where Stephanie is. Where the doctor's office made the appointment."
SG: "Oh."

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Mini-story

I'm at the mall to buy the rest of the His Dark Materials trilogy. At the ATM are two large men, neither of whom is using the machine. They're just leaning on it and talking. I approach the ATM and stop in front of it. They don't move.

And I was always taught you don't get sqwa up someone's arse at the ATM. But here they are, leaning on either side of it. I open my purse and take out my wallet, and one of them says...

"Oh, you want to use the machine!"

"...YES."

No, you big hunky piece of man-meat, I want to use you. I have a thing for fellows who chill around the money machine at the Scumberland Mall.

They finally walk away.

>^..^