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No Otakon review yet, but we got fic!
Stuff and junk and stuff. Trigun, shortfics, snark, and general passing around of a notebook during bored moments.
"This is all your fault."
"Sure, blame me. I thought a hot springs would be a nice escape. I should've known you'd screw everything up," Meryl growled.
Vash rolled his eyes and shivered. "Okay, fine, it's my fault. Now you get out first and get our clothes from Milly and Wolfwood."
"Me? Haven't you learned how to treat a lady? You get out!"
"Geez, Insurance Girl, who'd've pegged you as a pervert?"
=================
"I ate a baby once," Knives said.
"Why are you telling me this?" Meryl groaned.
"Trying to frighten you into going away, obviously." He paused and looked out the window. "Fear can be a wonderful tool when used properly. Many underestimate its power. Fear can make a person leave and keep running, never to return. Fear can make someone give up their beliefs. Fear can do amazing things." He turned back to her. "So is it working?"
Meryl stared at him for a long moment before replying. "I'm going to have loud, raucous sex with your brother all night long."
He wrinkled his nose. "Why are you telling me this?"
"Because disgust is a powerful tool, too."
===============
Editing Step #1: Check to make sure character is not bipolar in canon.
Editing Step #2: Stick the fic to a dart board; throw darts. Take out the words darts land on.
Editing Step #3: Put away your vibrator. Then, tell your friends to put away theirs. Addendum: some friends may need to get vibrators. Direct them to goodvibes.com.
Editing Step #4: After initial beta, argue with "I can't change that! That's the best part!" Even if it's a typo.
Editing Step #5: Ignore everything your beta says because they obviously don't know what they're doing and post it as-is, anyway. Be sure to over-hyphenate.
Editing Step #6: Reply to every beta comment pertaining to your original character with "NOT A MARY SUE!"
-Or, if the beta points out there are no unicorns in Slayers, (or something similar) the proper response is, "Well, there COULD be."
Editing Step #7: Remember that, no matter what setting or culture an anime takes place in, incest is not only accepted, but encouraged.
AHHHHHHHHHHH, MOTHERLAND!
[WTF, mate?]
Editing Step #8: If you only write het, you're homophobic. If you only write yaoi, you're a freak. So always keep in mind, no matter what you do, you're screwed (so to speak).
Solution: Write Utena!
Editing Step #9: If your fic turns out to be a Mary Sue, a high school re-enactment, a chat-room dialogue, a treatise in l337 speak, or an exercise in your personal neuroses, hit "delete" right away. If all of the above, just shoot yourself.
Editing Step #10: When in doubt, more lesbians.
[interlude]
"'Aishiteru, Vashuu-chan!!!1one" the short, pale, dark-haired, purple-eyed, low-cholesteroled, easily sunburned, professional insurance woman (who was naked) cried out. Then she cummed.
[/interlude]
Editing Step #11: No one cares about your take on the last night of a tragic character's life. Really. No one.
=====================
At the fanfiction panel, we had a stipulation that you couldn't leave until you had written a drabble (really, shortfic, since we weren't counting words for lazee). My admission was the above "Knives ate a baby" bit.
Stitch. Stitch. Stitch.
Each one tiny and even, a strong running seam through torn fabric. The needle caught moonlight, a regular flash.
Meryl couldn't piece together the shattered spirit of the man in the bed. She couldn't heal the broken faith, the wounded eyes. The physical hurts were tended as best she knew how.
There was so little she could do for him, she thought, alone with the moon. She couldn't save Vash with fifty derringers and her heart.
But, she could mend his coat.
-------------------------
They're both tall, both lean, but the similarities end there.
One is blonde, pale, clear-eyed, and optimistic. His scars can be counted, if he lets you get close enough.
The other is dark, tanned, prematurely cynical. His scars remain hidden no matter how close you get.
They fight, they argue, they look each other in the eye and know that they can never agree. They look out toward the future and one finds hope and one finds despair and both try to lead the other down that path.
They are not brothers.
But in his weaker moments, Vash wishes they were.
FIN
------------------------
Knives does not want to acknowledge the child as his kin. Half-plant, half-human, the infant's blood is half-tainted. Were he in control of things, Knives knew the best plan would be to throw him off a cliff. But the look in Vash's eyes would never allow that.
Besides, on the rare occasion that Meryl allows Knives to hold him, little Alex looks up at Knives and smiles without judgement, and it is then that Knives knows that this young plant's life will be different. He will be protected.
==============================
Vash entered his brother's room just as Knives finished his exercises. "Looks like you're doing well."
Knives snorted and threw his cane across the room. "I'm fine. I can travel now. I know you don't want to stay in this shack of a town."
Vash nodded. "That's true. But Milly's job at the well runs for another week."
"So? I know you think of them as pets, but they'll be better off on their own. Especially the short one. Her face is so red all the time, her blood pressure must be through the roof."
"I think that might have something to do with the fights you keep starting," Vash said. "But Knives, there's something you should know."
"And what would that be, Vash? Humans are good? Killing is wrong? You might want to vary your lectures a little; I've got 'Meryl and Milly aren't stray animals and thus don't need to be spayed' almost memorized."
Vash frowned. "Seriously."
Sitting on the bed and looking up at his brother, Knives nodded. "Okay. What should I know?" He hoped for good news - they would be moving on, and only bringing the girls along as emergency food.
"We're staying here for a while," Vash said.
Knives didn't hide his surprise. "Why? This...village is a dead end. What could it have to offer us?"
Relaxing a little, Vash leaned against the wall. "It offers another chance. No bounty hunters have come looking for me. I have a job, I have friends. I haven't felt this...calm, I suppose, for a long time. And for you, it offers a chance for redemption. To see these good people and to know that they don't deserve any judgement or--"
Knives held up a hand. "You can stop. I know how this one ends."
"Not quite," Vash said. "I also want a chance to live as a normal man with the woman I love."
It took a few seconds for the full meaning of Vash's words to sink in. When it did, Knives' lip curled up in disgust. "You and that short woman."
"I'm in love with her, Knives, I won't let you deny me this."
"Please!" Knives snorted. "If it's female companionship you must have, there are plenty of hookers scattered across the cities who will suck you off for a coin."
Vash reddened. "It's not about that, Knives."
"She's a human, Vash. She simply can't comprehend an emotional connection with you. If you want to fuck her, fine, but don't dream that it's more than that."
"And I suppose you would know anything about emotionally connecting with me. What with all the torment and anguish."
"I was simply trying to teach you that the same humans you hold so dear are--"
Vash held up a hand. "Stop. I know the rest." He stood up straight and continued speaking. "You were trying to drive me crazy, and hurt or kill everyone I cared about. And do you know what happened? She never turned her back on me, not once. Not even when I asked her to. Not even when I turned my back on her. So let's get one thing straight while you're making dirty little accusations - it's more than sex." Leaning down so his face was only inches away from his brother's, he grinned and added, "But if you do want to know the details, we can move the bed so it's against the shared wall."
"You wouldn't."
"I might. You're getting too much sleep at night, anyway. It makes you cranky."
Knives grinned. "And we couldn't let me get cranky, after all. I might slip up and hurt someone."
"If you think I'd let you, Knives, then you really don't understand how things have changed."
-----------------
PORN! LESBIAN BESTIALITY!
"I kill j00!!!1" Knives said.
"I kill j00 1st!!!"Merrill said back.
BANG! they're guns said!
"A winner is me!" Merly said.
"It's only a flesh woond!!" Knives said.
"Are you okay, Merrill?" Vash said.
"I will b! I need sexual heeling." Merrill said.
"OK!" Vash said.
"Help! I'm still bleeding!" Knives said.
Meryl x
Vash X
Knives X
Wolfwood X
Midvalley X
Legato X (Rurouni Kenshin Kenshin x Kaoru counts, dammit.)
And then there were stick figures and all hell broke loose.
THE END.
>^..^
"This is all your fault."
"Sure, blame me. I thought a hot springs would be a nice escape. I should've known you'd screw everything up," Meryl growled.
Vash rolled his eyes and shivered. "Okay, fine, it's my fault. Now you get out first and get our clothes from Milly and Wolfwood."
"Me? Haven't you learned how to treat a lady? You get out!"
"Geez, Insurance Girl, who'd've pegged you as a pervert?"
=================
"I ate a baby once," Knives said.
"Why are you telling me this?" Meryl groaned.
"Trying to frighten you into going away, obviously." He paused and looked out the window. "Fear can be a wonderful tool when used properly. Many underestimate its power. Fear can make a person leave and keep running, never to return. Fear can make someone give up their beliefs. Fear can do amazing things." He turned back to her. "So is it working?"
Meryl stared at him for a long moment before replying. "I'm going to have loud, raucous sex with your brother all night long."
He wrinkled his nose. "Why are you telling me this?"
"Because disgust is a powerful tool, too."
===============
Editing Step #1: Check to make sure character is not bipolar in canon.
Editing Step #2: Stick the fic to a dart board; throw darts. Take out the words darts land on.
Editing Step #3: Put away your vibrator. Then, tell your friends to put away theirs. Addendum: some friends may need to get vibrators. Direct them to goodvibes.com.
Editing Step #4: After initial beta, argue with "I can't change that! That's the best part!" Even if it's a typo.
Editing Step #5: Ignore everything your beta says because they obviously don't know what they're doing and post it as-is, anyway. Be sure to over-hyphenate.
Editing Step #6: Reply to every beta comment pertaining to your original character with "NOT A MARY SUE!"
-Or, if the beta points out there are no unicorns in Slayers, (or something similar) the proper response is, "Well, there COULD be."
Editing Step #7: Remember that, no matter what setting or culture an anime takes place in, incest is not only accepted, but encouraged.
AHHHHHHHHHHH, MOTHERLAND!
[WTF, mate?]
Editing Step #8: If you only write het, you're homophobic. If you only write yaoi, you're a freak. So always keep in mind, no matter what you do, you're screwed (so to speak).
Solution: Write Utena!
Editing Step #9: If your fic turns out to be a Mary Sue, a high school re-enactment, a chat-room dialogue, a treatise in l337 speak, or an exercise in your personal neuroses, hit "delete" right away. If all of the above, just shoot yourself.
Editing Step #10: When in doubt, more lesbians.
[interlude]
"'Aishiteru, Vashuu-chan!!!1one" the short, pale, dark-haired, purple-eyed, low-cholesteroled, easily sunburned, professional insurance woman (who was naked) cried out. Then she cummed.
[/interlude]
Editing Step #11: No one cares about your take on the last night of a tragic character's life. Really. No one.
=====================
At the fanfiction panel, we had a stipulation that you couldn't leave until you had written a drabble (really, shortfic, since we weren't counting words for lazee). My admission was the above "Knives ate a baby" bit.
Stitch. Stitch. Stitch.
Each one tiny and even, a strong running seam through torn fabric. The needle caught moonlight, a regular flash.
Meryl couldn't piece together the shattered spirit of the man in the bed. She couldn't heal the broken faith, the wounded eyes. The physical hurts were tended as best she knew how.
There was so little she could do for him, she thought, alone with the moon. She couldn't save Vash with fifty derringers and her heart.
But, she could mend his coat.
-------------------------
They're both tall, both lean, but the similarities end there.
One is blonde, pale, clear-eyed, and optimistic. His scars can be counted, if he lets you get close enough.
The other is dark, tanned, prematurely cynical. His scars remain hidden no matter how close you get.
They fight, they argue, they look each other in the eye and know that they can never agree. They look out toward the future and one finds hope and one finds despair and both try to lead the other down that path.
They are not brothers.
But in his weaker moments, Vash wishes they were.
FIN
------------------------
Knives does not want to acknowledge the child as his kin. Half-plant, half-human, the infant's blood is half-tainted. Were he in control of things, Knives knew the best plan would be to throw him off a cliff. But the look in Vash's eyes would never allow that.
Besides, on the rare occasion that Meryl allows Knives to hold him, little Alex looks up at Knives and smiles without judgement, and it is then that Knives knows that this young plant's life will be different. He will be protected.
==============================
Vash entered his brother's room just as Knives finished his exercises. "Looks like you're doing well."
Knives snorted and threw his cane across the room. "I'm fine. I can travel now. I know you don't want to stay in this shack of a town."
Vash nodded. "That's true. But Milly's job at the well runs for another week."
"So? I know you think of them as pets, but they'll be better off on their own. Especially the short one. Her face is so red all the time, her blood pressure must be through the roof."
"I think that might have something to do with the fights you keep starting," Vash said. "But Knives, there's something you should know."
"And what would that be, Vash? Humans are good? Killing is wrong? You might want to vary your lectures a little; I've got 'Meryl and Milly aren't stray animals and thus don't need to be spayed' almost memorized."
Vash frowned. "Seriously."
Sitting on the bed and looking up at his brother, Knives nodded. "Okay. What should I know?" He hoped for good news - they would be moving on, and only bringing the girls along as emergency food.
"We're staying here for a while," Vash said.
Knives didn't hide his surprise. "Why? This...village is a dead end. What could it have to offer us?"
Relaxing a little, Vash leaned against the wall. "It offers another chance. No bounty hunters have come looking for me. I have a job, I have friends. I haven't felt this...calm, I suppose, for a long time. And for you, it offers a chance for redemption. To see these good people and to know that they don't deserve any judgement or--"
Knives held up a hand. "You can stop. I know how this one ends."
"Not quite," Vash said. "I also want a chance to live as a normal man with the woman I love."
It took a few seconds for the full meaning of Vash's words to sink in. When it did, Knives' lip curled up in disgust. "You and that short woman."
"I'm in love with her, Knives, I won't let you deny me this."
"Please!" Knives snorted. "If it's female companionship you must have, there are plenty of hookers scattered across the cities who will suck you off for a coin."
Vash reddened. "It's not about that, Knives."
"She's a human, Vash. She simply can't comprehend an emotional connection with you. If you want to fuck her, fine, but don't dream that it's more than that."
"And I suppose you would know anything about emotionally connecting with me. What with all the torment and anguish."
"I was simply trying to teach you that the same humans you hold so dear are--"
Vash held up a hand. "Stop. I know the rest." He stood up straight and continued speaking. "You were trying to drive me crazy, and hurt or kill everyone I cared about. And do you know what happened? She never turned her back on me, not once. Not even when I asked her to. Not even when I turned my back on her. So let's get one thing straight while you're making dirty little accusations - it's more than sex." Leaning down so his face was only inches away from his brother's, he grinned and added, "But if you do want to know the details, we can move the bed so it's against the shared wall."
"You wouldn't."
"I might. You're getting too much sleep at night, anyway. It makes you cranky."
Knives grinned. "And we couldn't let me get cranky, after all. I might slip up and hurt someone."
"If you think I'd let you, Knives, then you really don't understand how things have changed."
-----------------
PORN! LESBIAN BESTIALITY!
"I kill j00!!!1" Knives said.
"I kill j00 1st!!!"Merrill said back.
BANG! they're guns said!
"A winner is me!" Merly said.
"It's only a flesh woond!!" Knives said.
"Are you okay, Merrill?" Vash said.
"I will b! I need sexual heeling." Merrill said.
"OK!" Vash said.
"Help! I'm still bleeding!" Knives said.
Meryl x
Vash X
Knives X
Wolfwood X
Midvalley X
Legato X (Rurouni Kenshin Kenshin x Kaoru counts, dammit.)
And then there were stick figures and all hell broke loose.
THE END.
>^..^
no subject
Brain. Is. Overloading.
Must. Fall. And. Worship....
*worships*
no subject
>^..^